Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
