They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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