I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
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