FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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