I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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