dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
