you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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