ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
