hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
