You're completely useless in the revolution.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
