Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
