if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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