where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
