i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
