I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
