WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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