I am in a vortex of obligation.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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