dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
