Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
