i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
