yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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