so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
