my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
