sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
