Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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