what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
