Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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