Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
