I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
