Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
