Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
