I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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