Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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