I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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