He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
