I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
