nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
