just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You need Xanax blowdarts
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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