So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
