sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
organizing the empties. That sober.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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