just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
