I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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