Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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