just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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