DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
