she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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