I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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