yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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