If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
