Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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