i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
