It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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